warning - bad poem - Rupert Meets a Druid Who Tries to Teach Him Ogham

The News had come to Nutwood town
There was a Rumour going round
A Talking Bird had spread the tale
He had arrived upon the Breeze
About a Language Of the Trees
And How it Could be Written Down

There'd been a chap called Robert Graves
He talked about a Goddess White
Who could be Nice or Quite a Fright
And though some said he Made it Up
Still others said he was the knees
Of bees and anyway - so What ...?
And Also -that the language could
Be handy - it was made of wood
And can be written down in signs
Just with a knife - its all Straight Lines

Well ! said Rupert -What a Thing !
I wondered what the week would bring
I wonder what my pals will think-
And then the thought of Goddess White
Made him think perhaps he might
Not bother Pongo and the rest
And as they gathered -all - to play
Rupert sloped off - the other way

He took a path he Never Took
And found himself in Deepest Wood
Confused and Muddled - he sat down
He put his face right to the ground
And asked if anyone could hear

Just then a Fairy did appear
She had been sitting on a branch
Jumped down and said her name was Blanche
She said - now Rupert - You've One Wish
She smiled - and gave her wand a swish
What I'd Like - said Rupert - Please
Is learn the Language Of The Trees

" Is that All ...? " Blanche kicked a Leaf
With a look of Disbelief
-she didn't get much Company
" I'll take you to the Druid's Tree
He's better at that stuff than me "

Through the woods the fairy flighted
Rupert followed - quite delighted
He NEVER would have found the way
Without the help of this kind Fae

Eventualy they reached a glade
Where a table round was laid
With plates of cakes and lemonade
"Pull a chair up - Rupert, dear ,
And the fairy can go here "
Said a Druid - Old and Wise
With a beard down to his thighs
he said " Im making up a brew
Would you like One lump - or Two ...? "

" When youve eaten - then you'll get
A Rhyme you'll sadly not forget
I heard it Once - its With me Yet ! "

The Druid Speaks ----- First - the Ogham - you should know In four groups of Five do Grow Two above and Two Below Each a finger - Each a Toe Hold on Tight ...and Here we Go ..................... B for BETH , the Birch is singing Of a Birth , a new beginning L is LUIS , Rowan tree Keeps us safe from Sorcerie F for FEARN , the Alder , wisest SAILLIE , Willow , see-both-sidesest N for NUIN , the Ash , you'll feel Caught up in a Bigger Wheel ----- Those the First Hand - one to Five And a break now --- to revive To the Right , the first five facing- Second Five go Left - like Lacing- HUATHE , the Hawthorne , holds us back DUIRE the Oak , safe from attack T for TINNE ,the Holly , grey Says that Help is On its Way C for COLL , the Hazel , giving Nuts for all Intent on Living Q for QUERT , the Apple's voice Says we'll have to Make a Choice MUIN , the Vine , just says " Relax " GORT , the Ivy Look Inside have a Think and change Your Tracks! NG for NGETAL , the Reed... Upsets , Suprises ...eeeek indeed ! ST for STRAIFE , the Blackthorn , bony Road ahead is likely stoney R for RUIS , the Elder , blessed With the voice of peace and rest That's both Hands and first Five Toes The other Five are Vowels - here goes -- A for AILIM , silver Fir Learn from Error then take care O for ORHM , the golden furze Says " take heed to what we hears " It may important changes bring - UpEnd yourLife - that kind of thing . UR for Heath and Mistletoe Up and Round and Up we Go E for EATHER , Poplar , shaking , Bringing Fear and courage breaking- Doubts about the Undertaking I for IOHO - that's the Yew Like the Turn it sends you to - That's the End of Ogham proper The other Five are Filed as Other first is KOAD - that's the Grove Looks like a cross upon the road Sounds like CH and KH and EA says " Dont be Fooled by What's not There " second , OIR , the Spindle tree Looks just like a lump to me Sounds like TH and also OI " Finish things -or stick like Gloi " third is UILLEAD , Honeysuckle says Take Care - or come unstuckle Two crosses to the Right ensuey for letter P , and also UI fourth is PHAGOS -thats the Beech Tells of new things within reach Sounds like PH - its also IO Says a letter's on its wayo Wonder what this one will bring ! - Looks like a feather from the wing - fifth is MOR - the boundless Sea Sounds like AE and X and XI Across four strokes and down are three Means to Travel Hopefully ; ) Birds Like Feeding Sunday Night All those five go to the Right Henry Drove To Castle Quay These five go the Other Way M and N, NG , ST and R Seem to spell out MorNiNG STaR All these letters , slanted are . A and O and U and E Vowels go Horizontally And the fifth is I/J/Y Above the Earth and under Sky Like leaves upon the Turf they lie Thats the end of simple ones - next five look like Fancy Buns AE and EA and OI and UI These are funny shapes its true Mannanan's Runes from Crane Bag taken Also X , CH , TH are shaken P and IO and the rest they seem to change by the Context No surprise from such as HE King of Mann - and also Sea Not to mention PH for feather These last five are the Forfedha Hope these in your mind will stay Light your path and show your way - Though the rhymes are slightly iffy You'll be writing in a jiffy